Beneath The Mask
by KarinaKamichi
Summary: "Those who smile the biggest hurt the most." No matter what, America was constantly smiling. He always seemed to ignore the insults and berating of other nations. However, when America begins to act a little strange, England begins to wonder if he's really as happy as what he let's on. Could there be more to this than meets the eyes? AngstyandSuicidal!America. No Pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Story: **_**Beneath the Mask  
><strong>_**Summary: _"Those who smile the biggest hurt the most." No matter what, America was constantly smiling. He always seemed to ignore the insults and berating of other nations. However, when America begins to act a little strange, England begins to wonder if he's really as happy as what he let's on. Could there be more to this than meets the eyes? AngstyandSuicidal!America. No Pairings._**_**  
><strong>_**Disclaimer:**_**I don't own Hetalia**__.  
><em>**Warnings: **_**Angsty-Depressed!America, Angst, **__**mild**_ _**Profanity, Self-loathing,**__**Depression, Anorexia, forced starvation, **__**A fair amount of cutting and self-harm, Possible suicide attempt, POSSIBLE touchy topics,**__**and of course blood...and, well, you probably get the point by now, da...? ^J^**_

**PS:**_** NOTHING SEXUAL, NOR ANY PAIRINGS, WILL OCCUR IN THIS STORY, just to set the record straight, unless you consider France's flirtatious personality 'sexual'.**_

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><p>It was not the most typical world meeting, and nobody could help but notice. An eerie silence had filled the entire room, as Germany sighed, gazing over at a certain nation's spot, which was still empty. How long had they been waiting?<p>

Used to, America was always one of the first ones to arrive, but for about four months now, he kept calling in and told them that he had some important business to attend to, and wouldn't be able to make it. However, he hadn't called in _yet_, so they had decided to wait a little longer. Not that he would really admit it, but it actually sort of worried a certain brit, as England didn't fully buy the git's story.

Suddenly, he could feel several pairs of eyes fixated on him, as though they thought _he_ was suppose to know where the American was.

"Why the bloody hell are all of you staring at _me, _like _I_ should know where he is?!" he demanded, sticking his nose in the air. "I'm not his babysitter, and nor is he my responsibility anymore."

After a moment, Germany muttered something incoherent beneath his breath. "Very well. We'll have to begin-"

That's when the door flew open and America ran in, smiling. A lot of nations looked up to notice how pale he looked. "The hero is finally here! Sorry, I'm so late, dudes!"

Germany would have normally demanded for an explanation as to why he was so late, _however_, considering the time, he simply sighed, shaking his head. "No, it's fine... Just take your seat."

As America closed the door, Germany then concluded the beginning of the meeting.

"Why are you just _now_ getting here, you git?!" England hissed, after America took the only seat left next to him. "Where the bloody hell have you been?!"

"Oh, you know..." the America briefly paused, obviously contemplating his response, before smiling. "I was talking care of some important hero business."

England scoffed. "By 'hero business', I bet you mean stuffing your face with those greasy hamburgers, don't you?!"

"_No._" America insisted, making sure to emphasize it. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but in the end, remained silent. England only grunted in reply, turning his attention to the conversation at hand.

America briefly looked down, his smile faltering, as he quickly shifted his sleeve. Studying him, England couldn't help but notice America's distant look.

"America?" he inquired, causing America to somewhat jump, startled. After looking back up, the wheat-blond haired nation gave one of his trademark grins.

"Yeah, dude? What is it?" he questioned.

"Are you feeling okay?" England finally asked, secretly eying the former colony. Was it just him, or had America seemed different lately? He looked the same, dressed the same, and talked the same, but when he smiled, or laughed, it didn't seem to meet his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" America wanted to know.

England studied him for a brief second, before pushing the thoughts aside. "...Nevermind, it's nothing."

"Okay, if you say so, dude." America looked at him, somewhat confused.

"Hmph..." England silently grunted, then turning to face Germany, who was now speaking.

_Why am_ _I worrying?_

What was he thinking? It was probably just his imagination. America was fine; he even said so.

_But what if he's not? He could be acting._

Well, he supposed America _was_ a good actor when he wanted to be. But that didn't say anything! Ha, the wanker probably didn't even know the _meaning_ of the words 'not fine'.

_That doesn't mean he _is _fine._

In the back of his head, voices kept contradicting him, when suddenly, he mentally slapped himself. Why was he getting so worried over such a little thing, and who even said he was _worried?!_

He finally managed to push all of his doubts, and negative thoughts, aside, and that was when the end of the Conference came.

"Before I conclude the end of this meeting, is there something anyone would like to say? Any questions?" England looked up, surprised to see that the meeting was over. Germany gazed around in question, before glancing over at America, who, at this time, would _normally_ always comment on something about global warming, hamburgers, fast food, or sometimes even Pizza. "America?"

Said nation looked up, smiling. "No, I'm fine."

"Very well. Everyone is free to leave." Germany announced, after a moment, as he got up.

At every conference, different nations would usually bring a selection of traditional snacks or desserts for at the end of the meeting, in case someone wanted a snack before leaving. After some time had passed, everyone had fixed themselves a plate, but England couldn't help but notice that America hadn't touched his food at all since getting it.

"Hey, fat ass, aren't you going to eat anything?" he rose an eyebrow. "You haven't touched your food at all."

"Oh, me?" America discreetly shooed his hand, giving a laugh that, maybe it was just him but, seemed forced. "I just ate a little while ago, so I'm not really that hungry."

England gave him a strange look and that's when he heard a soft grumbling. "Did your stomach just growl?"

"What are you talking about?" America once again looked at him, confused. "_I_ didn't hear anything."

"Mmn, I see, maybe it's just my imagination, then." England reluctantly admitted, once again turning back to his food. After eating several cheese crackers, he suddenly felt his cell phone vibrating.

Taking it out, he discovered that he had a new message from his boss. It kind of took him by surprise, as he wasn't used to receiving text messages from _him_ of all people. So he assumed it must've been fairly important.

He quickly scanned over the text. It read,

_Due to some issues at the Airport in England, you're going __to have to __stay in America for a few weeks while I straighten things out._

In America? Why couldn't the meeting have been planned in Japan instead...? He would have _preferred_ staying _there_... The Asian and him actually got along fairly well. He reluctantly let it go, as he supposed that there was no use in complaining.

He turned to Alfred, swallowing. "...Say, America?"

"Yeah? What's up, England?" America then faced him, questioningly. England shifted awkwardly in his seat.

"C-can I by chance stay with you for a few weeks...?" he asked.

"Sure, I guess." America shrugged, smiling. "Why?"

"It's nothing important. Something just came up, and I can't go back to England right now. That's all." England told him matter-of-factly.

"Oh. Yeah, that's fine." America said, standing up. "Anyway, I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

England took another bite of his food, when he was suddenly 'hugged' from behind.

"Angleterre~" France chimed, causing him to blush in embarrassment.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?! Get your dirty hands off me, frog!" England exclaimed, pushing him off.

"Well, that's no way to greet someone!" France huffed, backing away, as he folded his arms.

"Hey, France," England mumbled, catching his attention. "Can I ask you something?"

"Oh? Of course, You can ask me anything~" France told him, obviously referring to more things than one, and England somehow managed to ignore that fact.

"Is it just me, or does America seem a little pale today...?"

France's face turned more serious. "Oui, you noticed it, too?"

"Yeah, he didn't eat appear to eat anything." England said, averting his gaze.

"Honhonhon, Is this worry, I'm sensing, Angleterre~?" France smirked, once again hugging him.

"I said to get off me, frog!" England exclaimed, jabbing him in the stomach.

"Well, you don't have to be so rude!" France stated, now clutching his stomach.

"Hmph." England immediately turned away, irritated.

"I'm a bit worried, too, you know?" France told him with a genuine smile, as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, well, we _are _family, I suppose." England reluctantly admitted.

"Oui, it _is_ only natural for a big brother to be concerned for his fellow siblings, non?"

"I'm back." They looked up to see that America had returned.

"Oh, hey, France, what's up?" he beamed.

"Nothing much, Amérique." France answered, giving a sly smile, as he wrapped an arm around him. "What about you? How is my little brother? Doing good, non?"

The corner of America's lip twitched, awkwardly. "...Yeah, I'm doing great, dude."

"That's nice to hear." France beamed, backing up. "Anyway, all though I would to stay here a little longer, I should probably get going. You two take care~"

"Sure thing." America replied.

"Right." England rolled his eyes a little in response, finally finishing off his plate.

"I'm about ready to go. Do you have anything left to do?" England wanted to know, after throwing away his empty, and America's untouched, plate.

The American shook his head. "No, not really."

"Alright." England said, bending down to pick up his suitcase.

"Man, could you British people be any slower? Come on, dude!" America said, grabbing his wrist.

"I am not _slow_, you bloody git!" England retorted, as he was pulled towards the door. "H-hey!"

_~ End of Chapter_

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><p><em><strong>AN: What do you think so far? Review, if you will. By the way,**_ _**If any of you have me on your alert list, you have **__**noticed that I write a lot of depressing**_ _**things like this. Just thought I'd let you guys know why.**__**I suffer from a lot of Anxiety, and (what I **_**think **_**is) anhenomia, a form of depression which pretty much disables me from feeling good about things, or, in my case takes away any emotions **__**in general. My PDD-NOS (A form of High-functioning Autism) only makes it that much worse, as I also have a very hard time understanding others. While I'm alone, I want to be with friends, but when I'm with them, it puts me under so much stress that I want to be **_**alone**_**.**_ _**I have a very difficult time saying 'no' to people when I'm face-to-face with them. In other words, I'm very 'under-assertive'. So considering that everybody I try to talk to about my problems (especially my mother) either pushes them **__**aside, ignores my feelings, doesn't **_**consider **_**my problems, OR, claims it's all for drama and is just 'attention-seeking antics', it seems that writing fanfiction **__**is the only way I can at least relieve **_**some**_**of my stress. Even though the characters from Hetalia, or any **_**other **_**Anime for that matter, are not real people, I still feel I can relate myself to some of them, and because of that, when I read and write sappy (Sad-Happy, or Sad-with-a-happy-ending) stories, It gives **__**me **_**some **_**sense of **__**reassurance. Anyway, enough of that talk... **__**What do you think so far on this story?**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Story: **_**Beneath the Mask, Chapter 2  
><strong>_**Disclaimer: **_**I don't own Hetalia...**_

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><p>America and England had walked to America's house from the meeting place, and since it wasn't that far from the meeting place, it didn't really take long to get there.<p>

However, even in that short amount of time, England couldn't help but notice America's silence, save for the occasional comment every now and then, which was quite obviously just to fill up time.

Once they'd got in, they were immediately, and, in England's case, _unwelcomingly_ greeted by America's alien friend, Tony, and England and him began glaring daggers at each other right away. America then studied them, remembering the _last time_ they had 'associated' with each other. Needless to say, several things had got burnt by the time it was all said and done.

America finally sighed, as he walked over, whispering something to Tony that was too low for England to hear. All he knew was that Tony simply nodded, shortly after leaving the room.

"Hey, can you find the guest room on your own?" America suddenly questioned, quickly receiving a look from England. "'Cause I really need to take a piss. Don't worry, I'll be right back."

When America ran off was when realization hit the Brit.

"H-hey!" hey started to call after him, but before he did, he'd already left the room. He sighed.

"Geez, doesn't that wanker know _any _manners...?" he muttered in irritation, but at the same time, slight amusement.

He then slowly made his way to guest room, taking some time to scan over the many pictures that filled the walls. Most of them had America in them, and other nations, such as Italy, Romano (which he couldn't help but wonder how he could've possibly managed to get _him_, of all people, in a picture), Japan, several of the Frog (meaning France), and...what's his name again...? Canada? Yeah, that was it.

He somehow found himself feeling a little guilty, when he saw that there were even more pictures of _Tony_ and America than _himself_ and America. Even though, there _was one_, it was very old, and was back from America's colony days. As hard as it was to say it without causing himself to sulk, he still wished America and him could be have been closer. It wasn't like he _enjoyed_ getting in arguments with him all the time. Well, it wasn't like he could fully bring himself to blame the American, as he, himself, constantly just spat insults at him, France, and almost anyone else who crossed his path.

"Bloody hell..." he muttered, giving a somewhat sad smile, as he placed a hand over his forehead. "I'm going to get myself depressed again... _Sigh_. I should probably go on to the guest room now."

Within a minute, he'd found it, remembering where it was from the last time he'd came over, which he had to admit was quite a while.

Meanwhile, unknown to the Brit, America stood in the bathroom, studying himself in the mirror.

"Man, this is so unfair..." he grumbled, holding a hand over what he still considered to be 'fat', even after all the weight he'd lost in the past couple of months. Being a nation, naturally, he could go a lot longer without food, before he started to lose weight. There were limits, _yes_, but they weren't really considered much, not that he fully understood them anyway.

"Why can't I be naturally skinny like Japan, France, or even England...?"

As much as he hated to admit talk about it, he'd always secretly envied some of the other nations, and how they were able to go places without the fear of people insulting them over their 'eating traits', weight, or anything to do with their body in general.

None of them knew it, but the reason he'd missed the last few meetings was pretty much due to not eating. The first few weeks had been the hardest, being used to 'stuffing his face' and all, but in total, it had taken about two months to completely get used to not eating much more than half an apple a day or sometimes, nothing at all.

Then _that _began...

The nations were always insulting him and putting him down. They constantly made fun of him every chance they got, even the ones he considered to be like family. Every one of them seemed to hate him, despite everything he'd done for them, or at least _tried_ to do.

_Useless_

_Capitalist Pig_

_Fat ass_

_Lazy_

_Stupid_

_Idiot_

_Self-centered_

_Spoiled Brat_

_Nosy_

_Annoying_

_Obnoxious_

The list of insults went on and on. America took a moment to look down at his newly bandaged wrist, before slipping his bomber jacket back on to cover it up. He couldn't help but feel ashamed when he glanced over at the once bloody pocket knife, slipping it back into his pocket.

He'd knew cutting wouldn't make the pain _completely_ go away, and it made him felt weak, but...the other nations hated him, and would be happy to see him in such a depressing state. It always seemed to lighten up their day, at least a little, when he was sick or hurting. As idiotic as it may sound, all he wanted was to actually feel like he was wanted and needed, even it meant causing himself to bleed. There were voices that kept telling him that he was doing everyone a favor by hurting himself; that he somehow deserved it. Not only that, but after all things felt he'd done to some of the nations, he just couldn't seem to forgive himself.

Down deep, it made him sick to say it, but in someways, it actually _did_ feel good. Sometimes, he'd find himself unable to just 'let go', and would end up reaching for the knife once again. What was saying? He hated cutting. He _hated_ it, so why did he continue to do it? Was he addicted...?

Well, it didn't really matter either way, as it wasn't like it could _kill_ him or anything. He was a nation, after _all_. There's no way he could just die, right...?

With that question in mind, he suddenly remembered that England was waiting on him, so, putting on his 'idiotic grin', he left, quickly making his way to the guest room.

_~ End of Chapter_

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><p><strong>AN: **_**What did you think...? Sorry. It's way out of character. It's kind of hard to really completely picture a 'suicidal' America, as he just doesn't seem to be the type to really give in to emotional crap. But at the same time, America is supposed to be one of the youngest nations on the show, meaning he would be fairly naive, compared to others. Whenever I think about all the wars, and betrayals that directly and indirectly involved America, it surprises how he can still smile and be so happy all the time, which makes you wonder just how happy he really **_**is**_**. Anyway, just to let you all know, I'm probably going to bring in Japan sometime throughout the story, seeing how close they are. I don't know if any of you read my other story 'Sticks and Stones', but it pretty much uses the same concept (save for the cutting), and has lots of development between Canada, America, France, and England, plus some fabulous moments with Japan and America. Since this is more centered on England and America, however, I plan to use only a **_**portion **_**of that 'comfort level' with Japan and America...**_

_**Anyway, I hope you all liked this chapter okay, there WILL be better ones to come. I promise.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Story: **_**Beneath the Mask, Chapter 3  
><strong>_**Warning:**_** Fluffy scene from America's childhood, with Big brother England, b**__**ut, a**__**gain, as mentioned in the description, this NOT a pairing story, people, but rather a **_**family and friendship**_** centered story.  
><strong>_**Disclaimer: **_**I don't own Hetalia...**_

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><p>England had been setting on the sofa in America's guest room, debating whether he to go see if America was alright, or not. It had to have been at least fifteen minutes by now, and America hadn't acted he like he was going to take that long.<p>

Sighing, he began to get up, heading towards the door, however, he immediately stopped, when America finally got back. England jumped when they almost collided.

"Oh, England, I didn't know you'd be standing there. Sorry it took me so long, I wasn't really feeling that well, I guess." America smiled, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

"I see. I assume you're feeling better?" England inquired, raising an eyebrow at the fact that America, of all of people, could actually get sick when he didn't even know what a _cold_ was.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. Anyway, England, there's this super scary horror movie called 'Mama' that Japan seems really fond of. Man, dude, we've got to watch it," America told him, seemingly trying to divert the conversation. At that moment his smile slightly faded. "I mean, if you _want_ to, that is..."

England swallowed painfully when he saw the look in the former colony's eyes. Despite his smile, he could easily tell that it was forced.

Not that he would admit it, but he didn't like seeing America forcing himself to smile like that, so after a moment, he sighed, for once allowing himself to give in. "Well, if Japan says it good, I suppose it couldn't hurt."

Then _again, _Japan was...

"Sweet!" America exclaimed excitedly. "I'll go try to set up the DVD player! You can set down if you want."

"Right..." England muttered, going back to where he was sitting moments before. That's when he heard his cell phone ringing. Taking it out of his pocket, he was surprised to find that it was Japan.

"Hello?" he said, answering the phone.

"England-san?" came the Asian's voice.

"Yeah, it's me. Japan, is that you?" England wanted to know.

"Hai, are you with America-san right now?" Japan asked.

"Yeah, something happened in England, so my boss asked me to stay in America for the next few weeks." England explained. "Why? Did something happen? You sound distressed."

"Actually, I got the same message, and I was wondering if I could talk to America-san. I tried calling him, but it didn't ring. Then America's brother...I think...Canada was his name...said that you were with America-san." Japan told him.

"I see... That _git _probably just let his phone die. Hold on one second." he sighed, before looking up to see America crouched over on the floor, apparently frustrated with the DVD Player. "Hey, America. Japan's on the phone. He says he needs to talk to you."

America jumped, startled, quickly rubbing his eyes, before turning to face him. He got up, running over. "Oh, Japan wants to talk to me? Did something happen?" he asked.

"Just answer the... America, were you crying?" England looked at him a little worried.

"No, of _course _not. Hero's _never_ cry, dude!" America shooed his hand, dismissively.

"..._Right_..." England could easily tell that the American was bluffing, but said nothing further. "Well, here's the phone. You'd better not mess it up, like _last_ time."

"Hey, it's not _my_ fault that Russia took such a liking to it..." America grumbled at the reminder.

"Whatever, you wanker. Just take the phone already." England said irritably, as he handed him the phone.

"Yo, Japan, you there?" America asked, smiling as he brought the phone to his ear.

"Hai." he heard Japan answer.

"So what up?" America wanted to know.

"Well, a little while ago, I started preparing to head to the Airport, but my boss suddenly contacted me, saying my flight had been canceled. He told me I'd probably have to stay in America for about a week...and, well I..." Japan trailed off into silence, and before he could have possibly said anything more, America cut in.

"Aw, man, you too? Something also happened with England. If you want to come over to my place, it's cool. We could totally watch that movie you were telling me about a few months ago." America offered.

"That would be fine, thank you. Though I do apologize for bothering you, America-san." said Japan.

"Naw, don't sweat it, dude, it's not your fault. Anyway, where are you right now?" America wanted to know.

"...Actually, I'm still right in the conference room right now. I'm going to find a taxi. I'll be there soon." Japan told him.

"Alright, sweet, see ya then!" America smiled again.

"Hai. Arigato." Japan thanked him, before hanging up.

"Japan is coming over, I presume?" England inquired, as America gave him back the cell phone.

America nodded. "Yeah, I probably need to go and straighten up some of the bedrooms."

As America spoke, England couldn't help but notice the seemingly depressed tone in his voice. He stayed silent, sure he'd heard wrong. He wasn't even sure why he was getting so worried. Was it because he still thought of himself as America's older brother figure, or guardian? Wait, that was stupid question. Of course he still felt that way, at least _some_, but why was he getting so... Ah, what was thinking?! It was just his imagination, he was sure. After all, America had been so cheerful when on the phone just a moment ago. So it was obvious he was simply over-thinking things.

Besides, America couldn't get _depressed_ even if it slapped him up-side the head. No, he was just too confident and cheerful all the time to be _able _to get depressed, but, _still_... nobody was _always _happy. _Everyone _got sad at some point or another.

And, either way, if America _did _get depressed, he knew that he had people he could talk to, didn't he?

_Bloody hell_, there he went _again_; worrying over something that could mean nothing at all!

But what if it wasn't just 'nothing'?

"_America, were you crying?" _

"_No, of course not. Hero's never cry, dude!" _

America's words echoed in his head, and earlier's memories from the World Conference suddenly flashed through his head causing him to wonder if the git even knew _how_ to rely on someone else.

America had always had an obsession with being a hero to those around him. His favorite characters in movies were always ones would do anything to ensure the safety and happiness of others, even it meant throwing _themselves_ in front of a dagger to protect everyone else, and make them happy. They'd do anything to keep from burdening others with their _own_ problems, and also do anything to _ease_ everyone _else's_ troubles.

Unfortunately, in real life, there weren't really 'heroes' per say, for every person, and more-so, every _nation_ would always be disliked by _someone_.

But America was still a fairly young nation, despite everything his country has went through, and because of that, he still had dreams. So, no matter what, he wanted more than anything for America to be able to live freely and as happy as possible.

"Hey, Britain, do you mind getting the door?! I'm kind a busy right this second!" he jumped, when he was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts by America's voice, just then beginning to hear a low ringing coming from the kitchen.

Japan was there, he realized. Getting up, he replied back, saying that he would. When England got to the front door, Japan was looking up at the sky with a somewhat distant look in his eyes. Hearing the door open, he turned to face him.

"Ah, England-san. Konnichiwa." he greeted, bowing respectfully at once.

"Hello, Japan. Come in." the Englishman nodded in response. Gesturing for him to come in, he backed up, opening the door further, so he, himself, was out of the way.

"Arigatou, gozaimasu." Japan stepped in, taking a brief moment to look around. "Um, is America-san up stairs?"

"Yes, as far as I know." England answered, not noticing the dark clouds near by, before closing the door. "He said he needed to straighten up something, but I presume he'll be back down shortly, so feel free to take a seat in the guest room until then."

"I will, thank you." Japan nodded, giving a small smile.

"Meanwhile, I'm going to see if America has any tea around. I could make you some, if you'd like." England offered, kindly.

Japan immediately paled at the thought of England's 'cooking', or things related, but nervously smiled, politely holding up a hand. "I'm fine, thank you."

England rose an eyebrow. "Are you sure? I don't mind."

"No, It's really fine." Japan shook his head.

"Well, alright then." England shrugged, before making his way to the kitchen, leaving Japan to himself.

Upstairs, America had just finished making up two of the three beds in his house, and was now picking up some stuff on the floor, when he glanced over to see a certain green plush toy, which he hadn't seen in practically decades. Then again, he couldn't really remember the last time he'd even been in that _room_.

"Aw, man, I'd totally forgot I had this." he said, reaching down to pick it up, when a sudden memory flashed before him. It was back from the old days, when he was still just an innocent colony.

"_America? Lad, is something the matter?" England asked in worry, when __he came in the bedroom, to see the small shaking lump in the covers, which was obviously America. The Englishman could tell that he was crying. Thunder roared outside, causing the little __nation to start quivering even __harder than before._

"_E-England?" he cried, a little startled. "Is the monster mad at me? Did I do something wrong? I didn't mean to..." _

"_Shhh...it's okay." England's voice soothed, as he crouched down next to the bed, gently pulling the covers down from smaller nation, to reveal his tear-stained __face."You don't need to worry. It's only thunder, lad, and nobody's mad at you..." _

_The Brit gave a small smile, tenderly wiping the moisture from around his 'younger brother's' eyes. "Nobody's going to hurt you... I promise..."_

"_R-really...? It's not a monster...?" America stuttered in confusion. "But it sounds so mad..."_

"_It's okay, it's not mad, and even less so at you..." England said, as he pushed back some of America's hair, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. "So, let's stop crying, okay?"_

"_Okay!" America beamed happily._

_England smiled. "Also, if you want, __I have something that might help you feel better, if you ever get __sad again." England told him._

"_Really?" America's eyes gleamed in excitement. "What is it?"_

"_I have to go get it, so I'll be back in minute, alright?" England told him, as America nodded. He quickly got up, leaving the room, to return only moments later, holding a small green plushy, which sort of favored a rabbit. "I used to get scared too, so I always kept good old Mister Mint Bunny with me if I felt like I needed to cry, or let things out. So then, do you think you can do the same?" _

"_Mmhm!" America nodded, smiling brightly as England gave him the plushy. "Thank you, England! Since it's from you, I'll always treasure it, no matter what!" _

_England gave a soft smile, once again pecking America's forehead, before standing back up. "Good night, America." _

_America snuggled close to the soft plushy, smiling. "G'night, England!"_

America didn't know why, but he couldn't stop crying after that.

_~ End of Chapter_

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><p><strong>AN: ****_What did you think? Sorry for all the fluff in the flashback, but I can see England acting like that when America was younger. Not only, but it _****may ****_just be hint of what's to come.*Wink, wink._**

_**BTW, I'm thinking of**__**starting**__**a story a little bit like this with Romano. Because, even though I CAN relate myself to America, out of ANY Anime characters out there, I can relate myself to Romano the most (on the exception of his cussing and violent disposition).**_

_**For one, I have a brother who is constantly getting bragged on and, in a lot of aspects I often find myself being**__**very jealous of him. Even in the Anime, there's a moment he starts to reflect on how he is constantly compared to Veneziano. **_

_**Secondly, I myself, believe that Romano struggles a lot with his emotions, and feelings of resentment for some of those around him.**_

_**Thirdly, he doesn't seem to have to have as many friends as his brother, and finds it very hard to rely on and trust other people, for the fear of them turning their back on him, or hurting him, or sometimes, it's simply the fact that he feels out of place.**__**Often, because of this,**__**he finds himself feeling very lonely. **_

_**Fourthly, even though, he thinks he cares about those 'closest' to him, he still questions if he really does.  
>Fifthly, he may<strong>__**sometimes cut himself to 'Fill the void' and feel something, and maybe because voices keep telling him that nobody would care anyway, and even if they**__**did care, it wouldn't stop him because, out of anyone, he, himself, was the one**__**who hated him most. **_

_**Anyway, tell me if you'd really like me to write it, or think it would make a good story? If so, I'd be glad too :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Story:**_** Beneath the Mask, Chapter 4  
><strong>_**Disclaimer: **_**I don't own Hetalia...**_

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><p>"Man, how do you set this crumby thing up...? Hey...Japan, do you think you'd be willing to help me out?"<p>

Japan looked up at America, nodding, as he came over, to look at the DVD player America had been fidgeting with the last few minutes. "Hai, of course."

America chuckled a little, sheepishly, as he moved aside, so the Asian could figure it out. Japan was apt to working with electronics and such, so he naturally managed to get it plugged in and set up fairly easily. However, when he tried to explain everything to America, the blonde just kept shifting awkwardly, obviously not really paying attention to what he was saying.

He finally sighed inwardly in defeat, before handing America the remote.

"Awesome, thanks a lot, dude!" America said, excitedly, as he put in the disk, turning on the tv. "Hey, England, are you almost done in there? I'm about to start the movie." he called.

"Hold your bloody horses, I'm coming!" England's voice snapped from down the hallway.

America paled a little, when the Brit came in the room with a large white ceramic bowl of popcorn. He had to admit that _that_ was about the only thing England didn't usually burn when making. But he really didn't need the temptation put before him right now.

"While I was making my tea, I happened to find a bag of popcorn, and decided to make some. I hope you didn't mind, but I assumed you'd want some while we were watching the movie." England told him. The American already knew that he, himself, wasn't going to eat it, but grinned anyway, secretly thankful for the TV's loud volume which blocked out the harsh growl coming from his stomach.

"It's fine, dude. Thanks." he replied, as he was given the bowl. He then sat down on the left side of Japan, who he knew would probably eat at least _some_ of the popcorn. Even though the Asian wasn't that big on it, Japan _did _have his moments where he would eat rather salty items.(***cough* **Salted Salmon ***cough* **Tuna ***cough cough***)

Handing Japan what he just then realized was actually a ceramic pot, America held up the remote, pressing the play button, while England set down on the other side of the couch.

Japan took the bowl, placing it in his lap as he and America scooted back on the davenport. England, on the hand, was already scooted back per say, but to be a 'proper gentleman', he remained sitting in an up-straight posture, without leaning back.

As the movie progressed, Japan honestly seemed to be the most interested, for America, who did _kind_ of get the gist of it, but didn't fully understand the story, kept finding himself looking _past_ the TV, rather than _at_ it, while England couldn't really grasp the deal with the 'Mama', who appeared to want to help the two children. If that was actually what she wanted, or was trying to do, then why did she keep killing those who were _only_ trying to help, as well. He was aware that it was an angry spirit of someone who was previously a mother from some mental institution. As far as he could see, she was pretty much forced into killing her baby and herself, but why did she even bother giving that dream to Annabel as if asking for something, when she only seemed to want _kill_ Annabel, even though she wasn't even really doing anything wrong to them. It was as if Mama wanted to be the _only_ one to be a 'Mother', but if _that_ was so, it still didn't add up, because by what he could tell, she even tried to hurt one of the two girls.

He finally sighed in defeat. How many American horror movies did he really understand _anyway_? Most of the American films he'd watched never completely made that much since to him. He couldn't help but suppose that it was probably just a difference in culture.

He looked over at Japan, who was quite obviously 'absorbing' the thing. Seriously, what was it with the Japanese and horror? They practically have an obsession with pointless gore, ghost stories, blood, boobs_, pornography, _insanity, and weird things, such as that troll-like creatures that he vaguely remembered to be known as 'Oni'. All he saw in them were that they was usually just there to scare the bloody hell out of you. The Grudge? The Ring? Suicide Club? He really didn't get them...for the only country who knew _real_ horror was obviously _yours truly_.

He gave a mischievous smirk at his little 'joke', before gazing over to see America suddenly start clinging to Japan, as if for dear life, when the guy in the movie began taking pictures, the flashes briefly lighting up the dark room every few seconds, to reveal Mama, who appeared to be closer and closer every time, before she finally killed him.

The Asian looked down at America, noticing how light he was, which seemed quite odd to him. America had always been a little...heavier set, and because of that, when he hugged someone, he would often unintentionally squeeze them instead. However, for once, it didn't really seem like America was that heavy. It was as if he'd lost a considerable amount of weight.

But the Asian's current thoughts were immediately pushed aside when he suddenly noticed the moisture in America's eyes, as he was looking at the TV. Was he crying? The movie did had a bit of a sad background story, but surely nothing worth crying about, right?

"America-san?" he felt the American grow tense when saying his name.

"Y-yeah? What is it, dude?" his stammered, gazing up at Japan.

"...Were you crying?" England raised his eyebrow at hearing this, and he once again turned his gaze back over to his former colony in slight worry.

"..._No_." America said slowly, before shakily sighing, as he sat up, folding his arms. "Japan, dude, you should know that heroes like me never cry."

"Hmph..." England grunted in amusement, turning away to place his cheek his hand. "You really are a bloody idiot..."

However, down deep, despite his comment, he couldn't help but suddenly find himself worrying about his 'brother'.

"Whatever, dudes, I'm..." the American trailed of into silence, jumping, when loud thunder made itself known to all three nations, shaking the entire house.

That's when the TV began flickering, before it just shut off. By now, it was almost night, so the dark clouds pretty much _made_ it night, as far as any of them were concerned.

"Blimey, did the power just shut off?!" England immediately exclaimed in the dark.

"It appears so..." Japan replied, rather calmly. He had never really been the type to display much fear of the supernatural, for if _anything_, he seemed to practically _revolve_ around it. Even _England_, who was oh so into which craft, couldn't help but feel at least a _little __bit_ of discomfort in settings like this.

As rain fell outside, an uncomfortable and very _eerie_ silence had filled the room, as America just continued standing there shaking.

"America-san, are-" Japan started to ask, when he was cut off by America before he could finish.

_I hope I don't offend them or anything, but I've got to say something, or else they'll see through it._

"I...I think I'm gonna go to bed..." he said, turning towards the door. "Sorry, I really don't feel good. You two can go to bed whenever, since I've already showed you guys your rooms and all."

_Well, it wasn't a lie..._

And with that, he stepped out, leaving both the Brit and Asian confused and rather worried. The looks on their faces told that the two nations were obviously thinking the same thing.

When America's footsteps had eventually vanished down the hall, Japan suddenly began fidgeting with his fingers, after lying down the bowl of popcorn.

"I say, is it just me, or was that a little...odd, even for _America...?_" England questioned aloud, but more to himself than even Japan.

"E-England-san...? I hope you don't mind me asking, but do have even an idea as to how long it's been since America-san last ate...?" Japan wanted to know.

"...No, well, he said he wasn't that hungry earlier at the world meeting, because he'd evidently already eaten this morning, and I haven't seen him eat since then, either... Why?" England asked, thinking it over.

"Well, a little while ago, when America-san...hugged me, he seemed rather light. It was as if he's lost a large amount of weight...I was quite surprised when he didn't bring any hamburgers to the meeting earlier like he usually does." Japan said, ignoring the loud bang of thunder right after he spoke.

"Well..." England paused, gazing away. "Now that you mention it, he does seem a bit pale, I suppose...but, on the other hand, we can't exactly know anything until tomorrow morning. If he doesn't eat any of my breakfast, then we'll confront him on the issue at hand."

"Huhu, I agree, but, England-san, how about you allow me to make the food? I could make a dish that America-san should find...irresistible..." Japan gave a very small, but very _dark_, smirk, as he thought about it. Well, his 'delectable dish' wasn't the only thing he had on mind at that moment, as protecting America's kitchen from a...certain nation was definitely a number one priority as of right now. And, needless to say, most all the nations knew how _well_ England and cooking went together. Just like Prussia and Austria, and oil and water, they simply didn't mix, and never would.

"Well, are you really sure?" England rose an eyebrow.

"Huhu. Hai, it's really fine." Japan nodded, trying his to best to sound polite, without 'implying anything'.

"Very well, since I assume the power will probably be off for quite sometime, I'm goingto go on to bed. Are you coming?" England questioned, standing up.

"Hai." Japan nodded, before following him upstairs.

"Goodnight, Japan." England gave a soft smile, as passed by the two bedrooms America had said they could sleep in.

"Arigatou gozaimasu. Oyasuminasai, Igirisu-san." Japan bowed, causing England to make a brief comment pertaining to his formality with other nations.

"Wait, before you close the door; I hope you don't mind me saying this, but while I do appreciate you being polite and everything, you really don't have to be so formal with me all the time." England said, giving a small smile in the dark.

"Arigatou. I'll try keep that in mind." Japan smiled back, before stepping in the room, closing the door behind him.

He was about to enter _his _room_, _but stopped, when he suddenly began to pick up on muffled sniffling coming from what he assumed was the end of the hall, though he couldn't see that clearly in the darkness. He slowly followed the sounds to which he soon, sure enough, it to be coming from the last room on the right.

"America...?" he whispered.

There was no reply.

Slowly opening the door, he looked around, trying his best to make out what was what. A large flash of light made it's way through the window, bright light illuminating the room, but for only a second, before it was dark again. After a brief moment, thunder once again roared loudly, causing the shaky sobs to only increase. In the brief second that the lightning had lit up the room, he was able to get a glimpse of a large black closet-dresser setting against the wall straight across the room.

Softly closing the bedroom door behind him, he walked over, stopping in front of the closet, he gently knocked on one of it's doors.

"...America?" England said, softly, or really as softly as he could manage. "Do you mind if I open this...?"

"E-England? G-go away, limey..." England could easily tell that there was no malice coming from the insult, and was plainly just forced, in possible hopes of him leaving.

"Oi, I can tell you didn't really mean that." England smiled sadly. "Now, for _me_...will you let me come in, lad?"

There was no reply, but he could easily tell that America wanted him to open it, so he did.

It was at that moment, as that he slid open the doors, that another flash of light showed through the room, to reveal the younger nation's tear-stained face, which was filled with so much fright, as he was tightly hugging his knees to his chest. The look in America's eyes was practically unbearable for him, as it almost caused the Brit to break down himself, and that's when he mentally cursed.

_'Bloody hell, how could I have forgot? America always _hated_ thunderstorms!'_

"...E-Engla-" America began to tremble, unsure of what to say. England was probably disappointed in him for not being able to get passed this fear, something as harmless as...thunder...

Not only that, but...he was suppose to be the hero, wasn't he? Heroes didn't need to rely on anyone else, and burden others with their own problems. They weren't afraid of anything, even less so, some stupid thunder-

His thoughts of confidence were immediately cut short, when another sudden boom startled him, causing him to slightly shout, before he once again started to cry.

"Oi...it's okay, lad..." England soothed, as he reaching out, gently pulling America into a warm embrace. "I'm here... There's no need to cry now..."

"I-I'm alright...?" America couldn't help but ask himself. At first, he was very tense, however, after a while, he could feel himself actually beginning to relax, _despite_ the thunder.

_'Everything really is okay.'_ he finally realized._ 'It's only thunder...'_

"Yes, you'll be okay. I promise..." England's soft voice was the last thing he remembered hearing that night, before he eventually fell asleep in his former(?) brother's soft arms...

_~ End of Chapter_

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><p><strong>Translations: <strong>

**Arigatou: Thank you (Formal)**

**Oyasuminasai: Good Night**

_**A/N: What. The. Bloody. Walrus. Flamingo. Is. This. Crap? I don't even know any more. Review, I guess. I honestly feel awful right now. **_

_**The point **__**I guess**__** I'm trying to get through with this is to show that if there was someone who typically didn't seem to like me that much, **__**and they**__** just suddenly came into my life one day that I was suffering, saying they cared, I would have a lot of trouble trusting them. I might let them in a little bit on my involuntary problems, however, **_**voluntary**_** issues, such as cutting, Anorexia, or anything like it...well, it's not something I'd just give away right at first, but rather, over time, before I'd really trust them. This is an attempt to **__**show people that recovery is not immediate, but anything can build trust, despite how small it.**__**Is anyone the same, or feel the same way?**_

_**BTW, did anyone by chance get the Ouran High School Host Club Reference in this? Kudos to anyone who does.**_**/**_**Beside of that... TamaHaru is love! (IchiRuki, GinRangi, KisuYoru, IshiHime, IzuMomo, ToshiKarin, ByaHisa, ShiYori, ShunUki, NaruSaku, JiraTsu, MinaKushi, KibaHina, NejiTen, ShikaTema, LxMisa, MephiShura, AshMay, ZeroYuuki, SabbyGrell, RobinStarfire, Beast BoyxTerra, UsUk, RoChu, SpaMano, GerIta, PruHun, AusHun was canon both canon and I do ship it, SeaWy, Platonic!FranAda are all my favorite pairings. However, even though I already have one with America, I always love some good ol' fashion AmeriPan! Yay! ^.^) **_

_**Note: I HATE Light Yagami! :P**_

_**Sorry, I'll quit here... I've probably made some of you angry by now, right...? Sorry...**_


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